Coping With Repetition
… and now I’m repeating myself. At least I think I am. I’m sure we’ve talked about this before but the stress of the holidays seems to have woken the repetitive beast in my home. (I am not immune – ask my friends. I can’t stop repeating tales because I’m no longer used to …. Read More
Common Associations
Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed Jim has lost even more of his ability to determine cause and effect. It’s been a slow, gradual progress since July 2017 when he began losing his complex thought capabilities but lately I’ve noticed he’s consistently missing simple associations. Or rather, the associations are there but they’ve …. Read More
Happy New Year
My goals for 2021: Continue to be patient. I’m not the one struggling to remember who I am. Find ways to take a break. I don’t have to be on 24/7 Find support. Don’t let myself get lulled into the trap of “I can do this on my own” Declutter. Both the house and …. Read More
Routines or Bust
Christmas Day was lovely yet very exhausting. Part of me wonders whether I should have forgotten holiday traditions and stuck with Jim’s daily schedule. Even though, Jim himself was keen on keeping the traditions alive. Jim felt that I was eager to unwrap gifts, so he rushed through his morning routine to come out …. Read More
Since Last Christmas
Last Christmas, I watched Jim open his gifts and realized that it would be the last holiday with him. This year, I’m grateful for what we still have. He’s not as incapacitated as I predicted. He’s still charming and witty and has the same personality for the most part even though, he’s no where …. Read More
Separating The Person From The Disease
I had a bit of a boost yesterday. I had to go to the office to pick up something and was talking to the girls. It was a good day because during this second wave of Covid19, I’ve been somewhat isolated and these days and Jim isn’t able to be the best conversationalist. One …. Read More
Newest Memory Downturn
I’ve become used to repeating things several times. Jim will come to ask be about something, turn away after I answer and then turn back and say, “I meant to ask you…” and then ask me the same question again. This has become our normal. When getting ready to post Christmas cards for his …. Read More
Moving At A Snail’s Pace
Going anywhere is excruciatingly these days. Jim has always been the guy who said that he’d rather be two hours early than two minutes late. Even though I hate being late as well, he used to get impatient with me because when he said he wanted to leave at 8, he meant be in …. Read More
Fools Paradise
Lying in bed at night I can almost pretend that our life is normal. Jim curls around me when I crawl under the covers and his arm is a comfortable weight as he holds me close. Just the two of us, skin to skin, intimate and peaceful together. This is what the caregiving books …. Read More
The Battle Of ‘Meh’
I thought I was immune. I’ve read enough to understand the risks, I’ve done due diligence to ensure it never happens to me and I’ve been trying to talk myself into getting my ass in gear and yet, I’m still falling into the pit. I hate calling it depression because to me, this does …. Read More