Travel And Healing
The last of my work is done. Sure I have to do Jim’s final taxes, but the things I had to do for him, personally, are done. Jim has returned to the West Coast and his ashes will hang out with his daughter until his funeral later this year. Now all that’s left is …. Read More
Death And The Aftermath
Jim died an hour after my last post. His breathing changed almost as soon as I hit upload. Apnea started again. Two or three breaths, then a pause, and then two or three more. The nurse came in to clean him up. Usually they did that in the morning but I think they knew …. Read More
The Waiting Game
I’m truly grateful his daughter has been able to stay with me until Jim passes. The waiting is killing us. Him literally but the rest of us figuratively. I don’t want to sound impatient, yet the stress of waiting for the inevitable is taking its toll. I’ve learned more about narcotics than I ever …. Read More
Coming To The End
My life with Jim is coming to an end. I have such a mixed bag of emotions. Sorrow, of course. He’s still Jim. Until today, he was still throwing out one-liners, making people around him laugh. Today, I think, the pain was becoming too much for jokes and the drugs made him too foggy. …. Read More
Hospice
After we put Jim on palliative care, he still stayed in the same hospital room. They didn’t have beds available on the palliative floor. This was okay at first. His roommate was wonderful. A delightful little old guy who also had dementia plus some painful bowel issues. His family were great… except for his wife. …. Read More
The Final Countdown
I had it all worked out, on paper at least. I had a plan of action for when the time came to say goodbye to Jim. It still hurts like hell. I brought him back into the ER in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. He’d woken up full of delusions. He had to leave …. Read More
Managing His Death
Managing his death. Sounds morbid doesn’t it. As I helplessly looked at the discoloration and open wounds on his foot last night, I had a brutal realization. I’m no longer managing his medicine, appointments, meals or hygiene. Since the onset of this foot infection, I’ve started actively managing his death. I suppose this is …. Read More
Playing Footsie
One foot doctor appointment, and another on Monday. Last Friday was for the wound clinic. It was a little disconcerting to have both the Nurse Practitioner and the Doctor compliment me enthusiastically about the condition of Jim’s foot. It seems they were expecting it to be a lot worse. Let’s face it, it’s not …. Read More
Post Visit Wrap Up
I cannot express how much I value and appreciate Jim’s daughters. On the Dementia/Alzheimer’s forums, I hear so many horror stories about vicious/uninvolved or critical family members. Jim’s girls are supportive and grateful to me for looking after their father. I’m sure part of that is because if I don’t they have to. Still, they …. Read More