I’ve probably talked about this before but it’s worth repeating.

Help your loved one keep their interests and hobbies.

Part of the helplessness I feel right now is because Jim doesn’t want to do anything. Even without the specter of Covid hanging over us, Jim isn’t interested in going out or doing anything. He’s shown even less interest this year in our yard and gardens, well except for a new hatred for a tree on our front lawn, but that’s another story.

I recognize that part of this is his inability to decipher seasons. (He looked perplexed as I packed away sweaters and hauled out summer clothes over the weekend – phrases like, “It’s too hot now for sweaters” or “It’s almost summer” didn’t clear the confusion).

But it’s also a reluctance to move from the window where he watches the world go by instead of participating in it.

In hindsight, I should have pushed him more when he was first exhibiting signs of dementia. I shouldn’t have let him off the hook when I could see him giving up instead of sticking to tasks. I shouldn’t have let him take the lead and languish. And yeah, tough words coming from me now when at the time, he was still strong, the one in control and scoffed at the possibility his mind was failing.

If you can, make your loved one think, figure things out, do puzzles, read books, learn a new dance move, learn a new language. Don’t let them disconnect from family and friends and the things they love because it’s too hard. Help them stay engaged in the life around them.