Having Jim in hospital has been a learning experience.
Some positive, some negative.
Positives:
The nurses and aids are absolutely fantastic. Sure, sometimes they’re abrupt but if you listen to what they’re dealing with, on a daily, hourly, and minute-ly basis you’ll understand. Some patients treat them like indentured servants and/or punching bags (both verbally and physically). I don’t thing you could pay me enough to put up with what they do.
It’s been a validation of the level of care I’ve been providing for Jim. As caregivers we all fear that we aren’t doing enough, even though we’re doing the work of several people.
I’m watching two people do the same physical maneuvers I was doing alone, and I’m stunned by this. Not that it took two, but stunned by the realization I was doing it alone and then chastising myself for struggling. Time to give myself a pat on the back instead.
It has given me the break I didn’t realize I needed. Suddenly I have evenings alone to watch what I want on TV, blast the music I love on Alexa and scream into the abyss without having to explain myself.
Hopefully, Jim will be used to sleeping without me and I’ll be able to stay up later and have time to myself before bed. If not, I bought a wedge pillow so I can more comfortably read on my phone on the bed beside him.
This has given me a snapshot preview of the next stage of his dementia. Looks like immobility has taken a few practice swings and is now stepping up to the plate.
It’s given me a chance to get things in place like platform lifts, wheelchairs, diapers (and associated paraphenalia) and extra-mural nurses which had been arranged, but were still several weeks away. The foot infection and hospital stay has bumped him up on their priority list.
I’ve learned some best practices for moving Jim while bedridden to protect both of us from injury.
Negatives:
The hospital is no place for a dementia patient. The unseen and unidentifiable lights, sounds, and voices confuse and overwhelm them. Last night Jim didn’t have a roommate and he was so afraid that the PCA called me on the phone to help calm him down.
His decline has hastened during the 3 weeks he’s been in hospital. I can only hope he rebounds when we get home again.
His anxiety, frustration and depression have all increased during his hospital stay. He’s agitated several times a day, desperate to leave. They had to tie him to his bed to keep him from trying to stand up and injure himself in a fall. With his foot infection, he’s not a fall risk, he’s a fall certainty.
Conclusion:
All in all, this was a learning experience I wish we could have avoided. But as far as extended hospital stays, this was less traumatic than I feared it would be.
I suspect we’ll be in hospital again as is the way dementia seems to go. At least I’ve had a dry run, in a non-urgent scenario. Next time I’ll be better prepared.