Before I start let me just say the nursing staff and aids at our local hospital are spectacular. They are wonderful in the way they treat both Jim and I, despite being short staffed.

But we encountered a Nurse Ratched who isnt actually a nurse, she’s some sort of non-uniformed admin. From my description, the nurses think the woman was the floor/ward manager.

I am a DSP, designated support person, since Jim can’t speak for himself. I am here 10+ hours a day. To become a DSP, I had to do an online course about Covid prevention and safety.

On day # 11 of our stay (hour 121 of my time in the hospital), I heard this person chastising the husband of Jim’s roommate for being in the room, despite him being brought in by the nnurses. They are both older, not tech savvy individuals which is why the nurses had to help them.

Then she rounded on me for popping an Easter chocolate in my mouth under my mask. “There is no eating or drinking in patient rooms.” I’ve never met this person before, yet she was abrupt and rude, scolded me like a naughty toddler and left.

Apparently, it’s a rule. One that I had to go searching for, because it wasn’t part of the DSP training. I finally found it on a secondary FAQ sheet.

It’s also a rule that was broken immediately by the staff, when we arrived on the ward. I was offered a snack while we waited in the hallway for Jim’s room to be cleaned after the previous patient. Additionally, they buzzed me onto the locked ward, every morning and lunch prior to this, while I’m holding a bright red coffee cup. One nurse even joked about opening the door for me so I wouldnt spill my beverage or drop my sandwich. The nurses and aids encourage me to go get food and see me bring it back so I can eat at lunch with Jim.

No one even hinted this was an issue. Like I said, we were on day 11, and settled into an (assumed) approved routine when I got chewed out.

The nurses are happy that I’m here before breakfast until after supper. It saves them from continuously monitoring Jim. His stage of dementia makes him is prone to pulling out his IV Lock and he isn’t able to feed himself. At least once a day they ask if they can get me something, because they know I rarely leave Jim’s side, and it’s not good if I’m dehydrated or hangry while caring for him. I’m already obviously stressed.

I don’t mind following rules, or even being told I’m wrong. But please, staff shouldn’t be power triping and coming at patients and DSPs like a Drill Sargeant. Especially with nit picky rules which the nursing staff disregard or make exceptions to. Honestly, there were some staff who didnt know not-eating-in-rooms was a rule.

I am exhausted (mentally, emotionally and phtsically), I’m terrified because I see a sharp cognitive decline in my husband from the infection, meds and disorienting hospital stay. If I was a slightly more assertive person on the receiving end of her tirade, it could have become very ugly.

There are signs everywhere about treating people with respect. That goes for management too.

And yes, complaints have been lodged.