Death And The Aftermath
Jim died an hour after my last post. His breathing changed almost as soon as I hit upload. Apnea started again. Two or three breaths, then a pause, and then two or three more. The nurse came in to clean him up. Usually they did that in the morning but I think they knew …. Read More
The Waiting Game
I’m truly grateful his daughter has been able to stay with me until Jim passes. The waiting is killing us. Him literally but the rest of us figuratively. I don’t want to sound impatient, yet the stress of waiting for the inevitable is taking its toll. I’ve learned more about narcotics than I ever …. Read More
Hospice
After we put Jim on palliative care, he still stayed in the same hospital room. They didn’t have beds available on the palliative floor. This was okay at first. His roommate was wonderful. A delightful little old guy who also had dementia plus some painful bowel issues. His family were great… except for his wife. …. Read More
The Final Countdown
I had it all worked out, on paper at least. I had a plan of action for when the time came to say goodbye to Jim. It still hurts like hell. I brought him back into the ER in the wee hours of Tuesday morning. He’d woken up full of delusions. He had to leave …. Read More
Managing His Death
Managing his death. Sounds morbid doesn’t it. As I helplessly looked at the discoloration and open wounds on his foot last night, I had a brutal realization. I’m no longer managing his medicine, appointments, meals or hygiene. Since the onset of this foot infection, I’ve started actively managing his death. I suppose this is …. Read More
Playing Footsie
One foot doctor appointment, and another on Monday. Last Friday was for the wound clinic. It was a little disconcerting to have both the Nurse Practitioner and the Doctor compliment me enthusiastically about the condition of Jim’s foot. It seems they were expecting it to be a lot worse. Let’s face it, it’s not …. Read More
Daddy’s Little Girls
Jim’s daughters are here for 10 days. We’re mid-visit and it’s been interesting to say the least. He independently recognizes them when he comes back into the room, which honestly is more than I expected. Even though he sees the middle-aged adults, he still asks them how they’re doing in school. Unlike at Thanksgiving, he …. Read More
Resperidone So Far
We’ve been in Risperidone for a week. We’ll he has, but his reduced aggression has calmed me too. He was never violent, but after the hospital he was far more frustrated and it showed. He was really resistent to letting me keep him safe. He’s still feisty. He constantly wants to get up and …. Read More
Happy Anniversary
I didn’t expect anything for our anniversary. How could I, he couldn’t remember he had a sore foot, immediately after telling me his foot hurt. Unfortunately, I did get an anti-anniversary gift. The day started off well enough. Jim was standing up a little more solidly, so I upgraded him to pull-ups during the …. Read More