Happy Anniversary
I didn’t expect anything for our anniversary. How could I, he couldn’t remember he had a sore foot, immediately after telling me his foot hurt. Unfortunately, I did get an anti-anniversary gift. The day started off well enough. Jim was standing up a little more solidly, so I upgraded him to pull-ups during the …. Read More
Feeling Neglected Despite Unwavering Attention
Here is a contradiction that anyone looking after a spouse with dementia probably understands. That feeling of neglect, despite your spouses constant attention. Jim is clingy. He comes searching for me every time I’ve been out of the room for a few minutes. He did this even at our old house, before he knew …. Read More
Kicked Out Of Bed
If you’re like me and have a spouse with dementia, there are some aspects of the encroaching disease that the children of the affected don’t have to deal with. Weaning ourselves from sleeping together. I don’t want to, but it’s becoming a necessity for our health. Over the past year or so, Jim has …. Read More
Year End Wrap Up
The last few weeks have shown me exactly how much I’ve lost my husband. Using the scale I devised to measure his decline (assuming him as 100% in 2014): He was 90% in July 2017 – Able to function normally, but lost the ability to critically comprehend complex processes like investments, getting a loan …. Read More
Horndog Dementia Jim
Over the past few days Jim has gone from the occasional veiled sexual innuendo to full on Construction Worker Speak. Note: He’s always been rather old-fashioned and a gentleman. He didn’t even talk like this when we first got together, back when things were hot and heavy. Sure we’d joke around but honestly, it …. Read More
Dementia Jim and Sleep
Here’s a topic not covered in most books about care-giving because they are written for adult children caring for a parent, not a spouse. When Regular Jim and I first got together, we were like rabbits. Two old dogs learning all sorts of new fun tricks. If he roused in the middle of the …. Read More
Fools Paradise
Lying in bed at night I can almost pretend that our life is normal. Jim curls around me when I crawl under the covers and his arm is a comfortable weight as he holds me close. Just the two of us, skin to skin, intimate and peaceful together. This is what the caregiving books …. Read More
Remember/Rediscover – Who you Are
One of the things the world seems to have screwed up in the past few decades is the idea that romantic love means that your person, is the only person you will ever need. That they will fit you like a glove and you’ll never want for anything or anyone else. If your partner …. Read More
I Miss My Partner
I have my friends and a good support system in place for myself, but it isn’t the same. I miss my partner. I miss discussing our day over supper. I miss sharing what’s on my mind and working out issues and coming up with solutions. I miss making plans together, even if it’s just …. Read More
My First “Who Are You?”
According to my calculations, Jim is about 6 months into stage 5 on the Global Deterioration Scale. This stage averages 18 months long and seems to be the one that heralds the greatest change in the person with Dementia. This stage is where they become dependent on other people to survive from day to …. Read More