Anyone living with a person who has dementia, will eventually have to move them. Most of us can’t afford medical home care. Hopefully, it won’t be until the disease is far enough advanced that they will no longer be aware of their surroundings.

Jim is half way there.

We talked about the possibility of moving over four months ago but he since forgot and I let him, since the extensive to-do list was causing him so much anxiety. I’ve been able to pack the bulk of our personal belongings without him noticing. I’ve been gradually removing photos and such from our living areas so he doesn’t see a big difference from one day to the next.

Now I need to start packing in earnest and was trying to figure out how to broach the subject when Jim overheard and understood part of my conversation with the plumber about our move. He asked me later that evening about visiting my mom and was distressed to learn that we’d be visiting permanently.

His distress was short lived and not nearly as intense as it was last fall. Mostly because everything is in motion and I could easily answer his questions about where we’d live etc. which I couldn’t before, because I was still in the initial planning stages.

It’s been a process and I’m relieved to be almost to the end.

Now that he remembers we’re moving, we packed up most of the framed photos we have around out house. He helped. I think it will make it easier for him to remember and be more confident going forward because he’s actively participating. Having said that, I’m so glad I was able to get most of the packing done without his ‘help’.

His inability to recognize items, their function and the concept of donating gently things I don’t want to schlep across the country, has made it a slow process but worth every moment.