The stigma of mental illness has come up a few times over recent months. Highlighted by conversations surrounding the death/care required for relatives living with dementia. I have two aunts, one blood related, one an in-law, a second cousin on the other side of the family and of course my husband Jim – all diagnosed with dementia.

Those conversations are all met with sympathy and understanding.

But, there has been a noticeable push back when dementia is publicly discussed as part of the reason the person died. Especially those who were in a position of power or enjoyed a higher social standing.

I’ve heard shock and dismay from people attending public funerals when the eulogy discussed the deceased’s struggles with dementia.  The way they spoke of the funeral made it seem as if the citing dementia as a cause of death, negated the person’s entire life’s worth. Whereas if the person had died of cancer, they would have been seen as brave to the bitter end.

Personally, I think I’d rather have cancer. (assuming I had to pick one and saying ‘neither’ wasn’t an option)

Even with Jim, there is a shield in place.

This blog is largely anonymous. Sure, you can track me down and figure out who I am. I haven’t disguised myself, but I’ve also not advertised our full names or provided pictures.  While I find it helpful to discuss  our trials and triumphs, hoping it’s of aid to someone else, Jim would be mortified for his old colleagues to see him his way.

Even though, most people agree that while there are things you can do to delay onset but there is no guarantee. Dementia is no more avoidable than cancer.  So why is there a stigma associated with dementia?

Dementia is not somehow proof of a weak mind or other personal shortcoming. It’s no different than failing eyesight. The body gets older and parts wear out.

So I’ll ask again, why is it that some of us still see a dementia diagnosis as something to be ashamed of?