I’m not a stranger to dementia.

My grandfather had it when I was away at university. Even though I wasn’t home, I heard Mom’s stories about how he mistook her for my grandmother, and even the neighbours son once.

I thought I was prepared… and I was. It didn’t freak me out when he thought I was someone else. It even amused me at first.

But, I have to admit it’s starting to get to me when he looking into my eyes and tells me that I’m not Susan, his wife.

It’s also getting frustrating.

Last night, he wouldn’t let me help him get ready for bed. He wanted to wait for his wife (me) because it wasn’t proper for a stranger (also me) to undress him.

It was cute at first, until I had a persona change every time I left the room.

I think we’re down to him knowing who I am about 50% of the time. I’d guess there’s another 40% of time when he knows he knows me, and trusts me to look after him. Then there’s the final 10% of time where he gets agitated by my presence. Either I’m a stranger who he doesn’t feel comfortable around or I’m his ex-wife, who incites anger.

During these instances he’s uncooperative. He’s also determined to put space between us, which is hard since he still has an incredibly sore foot. In order to walk, he needs to hold my hands so I can correct his balance, otherwise he falls.

It’s a challenge.