I took time last night and read this blog from start to finish. HO-LY CRAP!

This has been an adventure. The worst kind of one, but still an adventure.

I have to give myself, and all other caregivers, more credit. In hindsight, I was doing so much better than I thought I was.

I’d forgotten how frustrated and unreasonable Jim used to be. He’s lost his oomph, both good and bad.

Going through those posts from the beginning, I realize the truth of the statement, ‘Today’s bad day will become tomorrow’s good day.’ The only benefit of this stage is Jim’s behaviour is more consistent. There are fewer surprises but I miss my partner.

There’s not much of Regular Jim left in there. Dementia Jim isn’t the asshole he used to be, but damned if I don’t miss that too.

This version of Jim asks for a baseball game on TV and falls asleep before the top half of the inning is played. He sleeps much of the day and (thankfully) most of the night.

He dreams a lot and seems to incorporate what he’s hearing on TV into his visions. We’ve stopped watching our favourite crime dramas for this reason.

Music has been our salvation. Jim sang in a group hired to entertain at dances when he was a teen/young adult. Hearing it always lifts his spirits, so I start every day by playing his Motown mix for a few hours.

Looking back, I know I haven’t been perfect, but despite my fears along the way, I can see I’ve done right by Jim so far, and I’m not going anywhere.