Social media is something that hasn’t been addressed by many books on Dementia yet. I guess it’s because we’re just getting to the point where our seniors are computer savvy and internet dependent. Jim worked in a heavily dead-lined position. Even now, years after retirement, he is attached to his phone like his life depends on it – which has it’s good and bad points.
The good part about Jim being attached to his phone is that it’s given him something to pass the time while I’m at work.
The bad part, it also can be a trigger for his anxiety and anger.
Dementia has robbed Jim of his ability to understand that what he sees on his wall isn’t directed specifically to him. For example – some of his family are online friends with an old neighbour. Not so much because of the neighbour himself but because of their relationship growing up with his kids. Years back, there was a falling out between the adults but the kids all remained close into adulthood.
Jim noticed on his wall that someone in his family wished this old neighbour a Happy Birthday. Jim, no longer understands the greeting was done on a public forum. He saw it therefore ‘knew’ it must have been done in front of him on purpose, with the intent to upset him. He then became angry at his family, “You can talk to that horrible person but I don’t need to see it.”
In light of this, I’ve suggested to his immediate family to make some changes to how Jim is categorized on their social media accounts. There isn’t much we can do on Jim’s account to block or see fewer posts because his friends are mostly family.
Platforms like Facebook have created levels of friendship which makes it easy to limit what certain people see. Close friends can see more than regular friends, who in turn, can see more than acquaintances. I suggested to his family that we all change Jim to ‘acquaintance’ status. This gives us the ability to post things he can view and then just as easily post things he can’t see to prevent misunderstandings and triggers.
Jim is only on Facebook so I don’t have to worry about Instagram or Twitter (whew) but I’m sure they all have similar options available.
Eventually, I’ll have to wean Jim from social media. I’m hoping that he loses his desire for it before I have to take it away from him. (i.e. let him keep the phone but disable his ability to see new social media posts… once I figure out how to do it)