I’ve decided to follow others and separate my husband into two people. You’ll often hear people who have loved ones with Dementia say, “Oh, that’s just the Dementia talking.” While I’ve understood the concept, I didn’t really understand it until my normally intelligent, knowledgeable and resourceful husband started resembling a simpleton.

I’ve named this new version of my husband, Dementia Jim.

It’s a coping mechanism. It’s a way to explain, forgive and accept that my husband is not the man he used to be. He is two different people living in the same body. Dementia’s version of Jekyll and Hyde.

At this point in his decline, Regular Jim is still here 80% of the time. But as we pass through each month, I see Dementia Jim more often. Sometimes he’s here for a brief conversation and other times he hangs around all day.

Real Jim has a wealth of knowledge and can converse on many topics. He can cook and clean and do what needs to be done around the house – safely and efficiently.

Dementia Jim has that same knowledge but instead of ideas sifting through his brain combining with other bits of knowledge to form astute conclusions, his brain neatly arranges his knowledge into impenetrable silos. He can take the information from two places but is no longer able to put it together and come to an appropriate conclusion.

I’ve likened it to living with a 6-foot-tall, 8-year-old.

He is a full-grown adult with decades worth of knowledge and experience but he has the capacity of an 8-year-old to choose appropriate and safe actions. Now that I’ve made this distinction in my head I realize that last August he was closer to a 11 year old and I didn’t see Dementia Jim nearly as often as I do now. By this time next year, I expect to be comparing him to a 6 foot, 5 or 6-year-old and seeing Dementia-Jim regularly.